I was thinking about this as I was on my way home. What would my first blog be about for Cam's Insane Life. I was on the phone with the Client as I was leaving work and I realized that this would be a perfect opportunity to talk about one of the "insane" things that I did. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different result. The Client and Mr. Bond - I did the same thing, about three months apart, with the same result. Shocking, yes and no.
Insane problem: Expressing feelings through electronic communication.
Here's the background:
The Client and I have known each other for many years (at least since the end of elementary school, the beginning of Jr. High school). We actually had that whole I like you thing going on in Jr. high. You know, teenagers who can't express themselves properly, so they act like they don't like you when they really think the world of you. But we never took it past I like you, You like me. A big part of that had to deal with the Client's sister who was one of my best friends at the time and she was NOT havin' that foolishness. So we never got together and eventually lost contact.
But good ole Facebook - it brings people together. We reconnected on Facebook after like 12 years. He invited me to his 30th birthday party and it was fine. It was the first time that we had seen each other since maybe 10th grade and not much had changed. Just a little taller and a little wider on both of our parts. So from that point on, we were pretty tight. Talking every day, spending time together, everything. It was almost like we backed into a relationship. We talked in the morning on my way to work, we talked when he woke up from his nap (he works the overnight), we talked when I got off work and/or went out to eat shortly after I got off work. We were spending a lot of time together.
I was heading on a trip early in the fall with my church. I called him when I got to the airport, giving him a hard time about me getting ready to leave and him not calling me. Mind you, I wasn't going to be gone long, but it would be some time apart. He said he's miss me (aww) but I told him that we would catch up when I got back. Between the time I left and the time I got back, we hadn't seen each other in two weeks which is a considerably long time for us. So I said let's go to dinner. When we'd go out to eat, we would alternate who paid, that is an interesting point.
So I told him to meet me at Applebee's for dinner. He showed up a little tardy but it wasn't a huge deal because I kinda have a problem with punctuality myself. We got there, we were seated and it seemed like the night would go well. Besides we hadn't seen each other in a couple of weeks so it should be cool. Right, WRONG, WRONG, HELLA WRONG! Now as much as I love talking on the phone, there are just certain things that I don't really do while I'm out with someone. I try not to answer the phone when I'm out with someone. But if I have to, I'll keep it real brief. I don't have full conversations with someone while at the dinner table and I DEFINITELY don't invite a non mutual friend to join the dinner party. But this is what the Client did. He took a phone call from someone. It wasn't an urgent phone call. In fact, these foolios were talking about fantasy basketball. REALLY!??!?!? Did you really take this call during dinner about fantasy basketball? Okay. Adding insult to injury, the Client takes a SECOND call from his buddy, tells him where we are and tells him to come through and join us. WTF? Are you serious? By this time I had flipped the B*tch switch and was pissed. Not too mention, the Client did a whole lot of other things during dinner to drive me to taking Patron shots - like talking to other people in the restaurant for hella long, leaving me at the table and making goo goo eyes at the young waitress who looked no older than 20 - you would think that he knew better given his circumstance, but clearly not. Not a happy camper at all. And to make matters, worse we were getting really crappy service at the restaurant. With regards to the crappy house, we ordered an appetizer, drinks and our entrees.We got our entrees before our appetizers. When I asked about our appetizers, I told our waiter to cancel our appetizers since they didn't come when they needed to. The Client says, no go ahead and bring them out. Err?! WTH? So the waiter later brings out the appetizer which the Client and his friend indulge in. So if I wasn't already mad before, I am hotter than fish grease now. Did I mention that it was my time to pay for dinner. Yeah, about that...
So I am pretty polite to our guest at the table but I am giving the Client the business. I pay for dinner and we leave the restaurant. I walk to my car and drive off - mad as hell. I immediately start texting this punk letting him know that I am NOT pleased with the way the evening unfolded. We talk for a bit and he "says" he sees my point of view but also thought that I was overreacting. Cool, not really but okay.
I then sit down at my laptop and begin to type. I send him this email, expressing to him how I felt about tonight and why he pissed me off so bad. I also said that I feel like with all the things that are going on, it seems like we need to just have sex and get it over with since it appears as though we clearly need to just get it out of our system. Ladies and gentlemen, we've just had our insane moment.
The following week he contacts me electronically, says he got my email and wanted to know when the get down was finna go down. I told him, whenever he was ready (note: he wasn't). So I called him later in the week and basically said he needed to come over so we can get it done. He said he had plans but would come over when he was done. Cool. Long story less long (too late), he didn't show up and didn't call. His actions pissed me off considerably and subsequently led me to making a phone call to Mr. Bond. (insane point #2)
The background on Bond:
Our story is one that is similar to the story of me and the client. We've known each other since I was in the 8th grade as we went to Jr. High and High School together. James escorted me to the Winter Ball my Sr. Year. Afterwards, he tried to have sex with me in his car. Something should have told me then, to walk away from the foolishness. But I didn't. Part of the reason I asked him to come with me to the Winter Ball is because we'd known each other for some time and it would be fun, so I thought. I don't remember much about that night, other than having an attitude about something, being pissed and the whole thing about him trying to get me to have sex with him afterwards.
So just like with the Client, I hadn't talk to Bond since maybe my freshman year at Howard. But that good ole Facebook strikes again. We become friends on Facebook. We reconnect. He says something about wanting to hang out. It was during the summer, so I suggested him coming down to one of my favorite night spots in Downtown Oakland. He gets there CONSIDERABLY late but we have a decent time. He comes back to the house afterwards and we start watching Transformers. We start making out but it wouldn't go anywhere. We talk a few times after that but because of the distance between us, we don't see each other often. In fact we don't see each other again I call him after the foolishness with the Client.
I called him and told him that I needed a distraction and wondered if he was available to be such. We coordinated a time for him to come over and spend the night. Long story short (yeah I know it's too late) we had sex and it wasn't great. I was looking for something earth shattering and back breaking. Not so much. But his comfort and his compassion didn't go unnoticed. The next morning we hung out for a little while before we both had to go to church.
At this point, Bond and I are talking a little bit more and hanging out on the weekends. While there was sex involved there were other things going on as well. Also at this point, the Client and I have stopped talking all together. This bootch tries to come up with some lame excuse as to why he didn't come over and as of today, I have only seen him once (I was sick and he brought me some supplies). Anyway, things with Bond and I aren't where things were with the Client and I, but they are two different guys of completely different characters or so I thought.
Earlier this year, I sat down at my computer again and began typing an email to Bond. In said email, among other things, I told him that I liked him. NOT that I wanted to marry him by my next birthday, not that I wanted him to be my baby daddy, only that I liked him and thought (which traditionally gets me in trouble), it might be a good idea for us to consider dating.
Needless to say the feelings were not returned, nor was the email even responded to - which speaks a lot to his real character. But there was a lesson for me to learn in both scenarios. In talking the situation with Chase, the banker, and he said that part of it was my fault. WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?!??! How could this be my fault? John Mayer says " Say what you need to say...even if your hands are shaking and your hearts wide open..." and I did that. But what Chase told me, is that I needed to have the conversations IN PERSON.
The Moral of the Story:
By having the conversation in person, you communicate so much more effectively. You see facial expressions, body language, sincerity everything. Don't leave something that could be potentially serious, to be interpreted or misinterpreted by electronic communication. Don't even do something like this on the phone. Do it in person, or don't do it at all.
hahaa! That they are which is apparently just how I like them!
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